Between two darknesses, one twinkling.

I walk in the streets. They are empty.
I attempt to wake up. The cold water in my face produces shivers to me. It is clear, it is not a dream.
I ponder.
I enter an interior world. A world that only I understand and that is the only one that really listens and understands me when I speak to it. I ask, but this time, not at least it has answers for my.
I go out again on the outside but there are no streets yet. The asphalt have been eaten up by the rivers. Trees, lawn, black ravens. I repeat myself the question:
Is it a dream?


I decide to fly, to burn myself with the Sun. I touch the clouds... yes! I can feel them, hug them!
I wait there up until it gets dark, knocked down on one of the clouds.
The Sun goes out., I get cool. I take a star and feel nothing. I am empty. I throw it again against the sky and the clouds disappear.I fall down to land, emptier than ever, with hundreds of persons in the streets, bars, cinemas and houses.
What is happening? Why is everything empty? Where there is that one that fills me?Something is wrong in my around or something is wrong in me. I just don´t know.

I say goodbye to the hustle. I look for the peace even knowing that it does not exist. I look for the silence even knowing that I only will find it being quiet.
I listen to Freddy Mercury. Queen is not also what I look for. I love it but it is not that thing that fills me... " The show must go on " and I believe that it is true. To forget. Full stop and new paragraph.I know that Too much love will me, but Who wants to live forever? I do not stop. I erase the full stop that I had written before in a precipitated way.

I remember to have a compass. I extract it of the booth of the oblivion and let her to guide me. The arrow appears towards me. I turn myself, hoping that it does not do it. But it turns. Its thin top returns to aim at me. I despair. All is so empty!

Shouting and crying. Nobody comes to support his/her hand in my shoulder. I raise the look and see darkness. I turn my head and look at the past. Quite dark. Only a minuscule point of light I can see in the distance and run towards it as if I were losing my own life.
I stumble and fall to the ground. I notice as my blood flows. My head loses its place. I have to get up if I do not want to die.
Again I raise the look and the light has approached, it is so close that begins to blind me.
" It´s already here" - I think between smiles and tears - " I have to go away. It could have been a sweeter farewell, but we can´t choose. " I close my eyes, noticing the immense sheen that must be coming to me.

Minutes go like centuries, I open my eyes with great difficulty and the sheen has vanished but I continue bleeding, dying between smiles and tears. I notice a breathing that is not mine. A few beatings that do not come from my heart. Somebody caress my lips smoothly... And when finally I´m able to open my eyes I see her.

She smiles slightly and places her forefinger in my lips: " do not speak, just listen " she says with a tenuous, light, sweet voice " you have been looking for me and when you found me your agony began. I never wanted to kill you, but you wanted to die for my. I cannot avoid it, you have fought to see me. You have given your blood, your body, your soul, everything " " you will not be able to make anything for the person whom you love, only continue loving her eternally. And now when you have already died tell me: would you return to live, looking for me? Would you die for me again? "

There is a silence, we look at each other. I remember a few verses:

And to die with you if you kill yourself.
And to kill myself with you if you die.
Because the love, when does not die, kills,
but loves which kill, never die.

She looks at me and puts her look down leting a tear going down on my puddle of blood. With the hesitating voice she can only add: " The death does not exist. People only die when they are forgotten. If you can remember me for ever, I will be with you "

Her hand caresses my face, her lips kiss my lips.
And she moves away from backs, just for not stopping to look at me.

-el llanero solitario (lone ranger)

(IN HONOUR OF CAROLE AND MIKE)